does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
