I want to have your abortion
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
