yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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