You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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