No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
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