Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
