Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
