The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When are your genitals available?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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