So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
