Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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