GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
