that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
