He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
