i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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