Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
