More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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