Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Randomize
