come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
