i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
