Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
