He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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