You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
