just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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