Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
