I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
