I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
