wanna go halves on a baby?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
