I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
