Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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