Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
