She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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