i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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