I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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