The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
