Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
