tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
