My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i out mim tonsoeep
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
