I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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