True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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