you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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