its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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