do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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