walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
