I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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