i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
