operation harelip BJ is a go
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
