id be glad to
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Houston, we have a blender
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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