Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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