sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
