Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
