so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
