I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
