....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
