I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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