Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
